Finally!!! :-D

It has been such a long time since I have written but I thought I’d give an update on most parts of my life.

School- I have straight A’s and am the top of my class.  I recieved an award for being the top student in the school.  I am taking 24 units currently but in a week I start a new term with 27 units.  My last day of college will be September 24, 2010.  That means I have 1 year, 2 months, and 23 days left.  These last 9 months have flown by so fast and I have accomplished a lot.  Oh did I mention I am the youngest one in my program and most of the people I started with have already dropped.  I don’t know how I do it.

Work- I have been working in childcare at a local gym.  I hate the job but it is money to help pay my living expenses for this year.  I love the kids and the free membership.  When I have time I take all the free spinning classes I can.  (till my butt goes numb)

Relationship- I am currently dating a wonderful man by the name of Robby.  I met him through an old friend.  He lives about 2 hours away, but only an hour from my hometown.  It’s nice for us to have weekends with each other and the weeks to get done what we need to.  We both know that if we lived close, we would never leave each other’s sides and I can’t finish school like that.  Robby works for an IT company in San Fran.  I greatly admire his intelligence.  He is also a goof ball and can dish out the sarcasim much like myself, makes for great fun.  My family loves him too.  I am in love.  Another thing I have to say is that he is the first guy that beats my ex fiance.  I have had trouble with comparing guys to my ex ever since the split, 3 years ago.  Now Robby is the number one guy to ever walk into my life and I sure hope he never walks out, I love him more than anything.  Didn’t know that I could find someone so wonderful and someone my age with their act together.  <3 <3 <3

Physically- I was really sick for several weeks and my mom had to come take care of me.  The doctors put me on steriods and antibiotics which in turn made me gain close to 15lbs.  I am currently working my butt off to lose those 15 and the original 15 I was working on losing when I got sick.  It is very hard to balance my schedule and get in a good work out.  So I have set my alam clock an hour earlier and hop on the treadmill before school in the mornings and then sometimes go for walks on my lunch and then work out again for as long as I can each night, around my homework time.  I am eating a ton of oat meal, protien shakes, salad, chicken, brown rice, egg whites and brocolli.  It’s not that bad, the hard part is trying to lose diet soda altogether.  I am currently down to one can a day, but I’d like to be at zero.  I have 3olbs to lose and I plan to do it by the end of my 1st of school. October 2, 2009.

Mentally- I am ehausted, but it feels good to know I am working hard and reaching my goals.  And having Robby to love and to love me is the best thing I could ever ask for.  I just hope and pray my working out and eating right and the dreaded scale don’t knock my smiles.

Birthday- I am now 21!!! For my birthday Robby showed up on my doorstep dressed handsome and ready to take me out to dinner.  I had a free brithday shot at a cute Mexican Restruaunt.  I since then haven’t been a big drinker, but I have a margarita with my Mexican food when it’s hot out. 

Soon- This weekend I will be meeting Robby’s mom and stepdad.  They are having a little party with drinking games.  I’ve never played any drinking games.  And meeting the parents while drinking is kinda freaky.

Anyways… that is all for now.  Have a great summer!!!

Support

Ephiesians 4:15-16  “Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up to him. …From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love.”

Sometimes its really hard because this world has taught us to be so vain.  But as creature of God, we shouldn’t obsess over the things of this world.  There are somedays as women we just fell like ‘I look like crap.’  ’I'm not as pretty as she is.’  ’I'd be happy if…’  ‘I wish I had flat abs, a bubble but and bigger boobs.’  We are beautiful, Grod created us all in his image.  We need to surround ourselves with friends and family who will build us up with love.

When you’re having a hard time with obsessing, pray about it ask others.  Say ‘Oh man, I’m really struggling in this area. Pray for me today because I’m obessing about this.’ 

Instead of me just writing what I have been studying with my devotionals I will tell you of my struggles.  I try so hard to feel confident, I am confident in who I am but when it comes to outer beauty, its soooo difficult.  Does my hair look okay?   I shouldn’t eat today if I do I have to work out too much.  If I wear sweats will people think I’m lazy?  I’m so white.  What do the ‘guys’ think?  Wish I were the pretty…  How much would it cost me to have a body like that?  It really is a big struggle to push those thoughts out of my mind.  I hate when guys talk about how hot other girls are so then I start talking about hot guys… thats not what God wants, that’s lustful.  And it tears down on  other people.  We need to build each other up.  Guys think its weird how girls check out other girls… We’re not doing it in the same way guys!  We compare ourselves to everyone.  Guys, you do it too…  Who has the biggest toy, the hottest girlfriend, the biggest biceps, most showy 6-pack, who can chugg the milk the fastest…   Whatever it is we all compare ourselves, good or bad…  Its tikme to work as a team and just tell everyone they are grogeous because everyone is in one way or another.

Secret Keeper Devotional… My thoughts and notes.

1 Corinthians 2: 9-10

It is written: ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him’- but God has revealed it to us by his spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

~ Gods greatness is not just on the surface, you have to dig deep. Get into the word. Develop a stronger relationship.

~ When you think everyone else around you is experiencing great miracles ands that you are not, you have to look deep and see what god is doing for you, wether it be big or small God’s love is always great.

~ Share God’s secrets, turn to others when you have questions and know that there is not always a right or wrong answer.

~ When you lack in FAITH, that is when you will fall

Isaiah 55:1

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters.

~ Feeling empty? Find ways to feel yourself with the Spirit. Wether it be reading the Bible, going to church, setting aside time for him… It’s all the same and he can and will fill your voids.

~ ‘We sometimes have wilted spirits.’

~ Wilted spirits are often see by those around us who are also believers. Often times though we fool ourselves and we do not see our own wilting spirit.

Psalm 42:1

As the deer pants for water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

~ dare to go places you’ve never been, to wander into unfamiliar territory, to be seen by those you’d rather not have see you thirst for God.

~ God will quench your thirst when you are so dehydrated the world sees you left broken and longing.

* What have you used to try and quench your thirst?

-work, working out, independence, friendships, relationships, family.

Psalm 34:9

Fear the lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing!

~ When we are in line with God’s desires for us, we find that we have all we need.

~ If we are modest, they way God intended, it will serve a greater purpose than being the way the world pushes on you. Its in the media and all around us, can’t escape it but we can ignore it.

~ Make a commitment of Submitting to god’s plan for finding your dream guy/girl.

~ Don’t be a PRODUCT or a BRAND, why would you ever want to be generic and sell yourself short? YOU are special and unique, milk it for all its worth, that’s why God made you the way he did.

Genesis 24:65

[Rebekah] took her veil and covered herself.

* How might you figuratively veil your beauty in a modest way?

-watch what I wear, don’t talk to much, and have some mystery to my life, don’t give something quickly such as a kiss…

~ Let a man do the chasing.

~ Issac still loved Rebekah even when should could not bear children. He prayed over her and did not search for another wife. He feared she was so beautiful that another man would kill him to have her.

~ Hold back, let God make everything happen in his timing.

~ Find the one that Fits into God’s plan, don’t find form your own plan to fit a man.

Genesis 4:1

Adam lay [Yada] with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.

*In Hebrew the word ‘Yada’ is the word used for sex but its actual meaning is “known, recognized, understood and respected.”

~ Sex in a (pure) marriage is the most passionate thing we as human beings can experience on this earth. The reason for this is Yada, Yada is the relationship we have with God, and his love is more passionate than anything else. Sex is supposed to be an example to us of the passion God has for us and supposed to show us how GOOD it feels.

~Yada is amazing because we all want to be understood without explanation. God is so great he knows us inside and out with out us having to tell him, he knows our deepest secrets, and this is how marriage should be.

Proverbs 5:18-19

Rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful der- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

~ WOW, God gave us women the power to ‘captivate’ men. (Some women misuse this power)

~ There are deep secrets about yourself that you should only share with your husband, its part of what makes it fun, something you share and the rest of the world is clueless.

~ Imagine the purity, the passion, the Yada that Adam and Eve experienced. Their connection both emotional and spiritual, so pure and of God. (I’m Jealous!)

~ Earn your respect.

Songs of Songs 6:8-9

Sixty queens there maybe, and eighty concubines, my perfect one, is unique.

* What makes you feel unique? That just might be your beauty mark.

- I am a virgin. It feels like torture to be so different, but I want to stay true to myself and my future husband. Where in this world is a man who has stayed true to himself? I know what God wants for me, but it stills feel lonely and it is a struggle.

–Perhaps I lack Faith, that God has that special man out there waiting for me. Or maybe God has given me such a forgiving heart to be with a man who has had sex. Maybe in the same way God uses me as a virgin to reach others maybe he will use my future husband to reach out to others about pre-marital sex. Maybe it will be that God has taught him through his mistakes how to love and respect as well as changing him from the inside out so that he will be ready for me. I am stoked to see what God has in store. I will not pass over an opportunity with a great man just because of past mistakes, instead I will use that to strengthen my relationship with God and myself… and maybe with that man.

T vs. GC

Who do you think would win in a fight?  A taco or a grilled cheese?

Grilled Cheese…

unless its prision rules…

then I’d have to say….

TACO!

haha I just watched Hot Rod, its a funny movie.

Babysitting

So its only been 2 hours that I’ve been watching David but its definately something semi new to me. I have never watched an infant for a long period of time. Oh gosh. He is a sweetheart and he only cries when he is trying to sleep. But he is mostly smiles… 6 and a half hours today just him and I. He is so precious it definately increses my desire to have kids someday. But not for a long time. Its kinda cute though cause he likes me to sing to him. My little superman. Sad to see him leave in a month. Anyways…

This past week was great.  Then made a few bucks and now hanging with lil D.

Hope ya’ll are starting the new year off right. God bless.

Giddy!

Yesssssssss!!!!!

So anyways….as I have said before this week has been a hard week…really it has been a hard year. We lost my great grandma only a couple days ago, but now she is home with the King. Also we’re planning my aunts memorial as well. My cousin is having a baby shower next weekend too. I need a new job…It’s driving me nuts tying to find a new one.

My best friend is going to be moving across the country in about 2 months…thank goodness it wasn’t this month like she had orgionally planned. Okay so I have to tell you about this girl. Kristen, her and I were the worst enemies in high school, total opposites, and yet we had one thing in common…God. She use to pick me apart…and you know how we became friends? after high school she made a point in finding me so that she could apologize for everything she ever said or did to me. And now with out her in my life…I don’t know where I’d be, she makes me laugh and she shares the joy of her son with me. Her little boy has blessed my life in so many ways, I can’t even explain what kind of changes I’ve been through in the past months that Kristen and I have become super close. i can’t think of a great gift to give her that really shows how much I care…I show up at her work with starbucks…(i have her order memorized), I have my parents babysit…so she can go out to dinner with me and feel a little freed up….I don’t know what i can do to show her I love her. You may think I’m crazy but I’m just so greatful for the new blessings in my life as well as the long time blessings.

Also…… I’m just really happy and finally my stresses are fading woooooohooooooo!!!!!

So…

Yesterday was just a bad day. But today was better. I went and met my best friend for coffee, played with her son and went for a wak by the beach. Then me and my mom went and grabbed a salad for lunch before going to visit my great grandma at the hospitol. It was so sad, I’ve never seen her look so ill, and never have I ever wanted to see the open end of her hospitol gown, oh gosh.

I am looking for a new job, but I have this idea of going back to my old one for 6 weeks just so I can make some extra cash and they need the help but not until febuary. In the mean time I would still like to find another job. I need at LEAST 35 hrs. a week. I am so bored all the time… and next semester I plan on taking time off school. yayness!

Well…. Also I don’t know but I feel very happy tonight even after having a hard week and a bad afternoon.

Christmas is almost here. Time flies when you’re busy living.

Disney Channel to Media.

So tonight I heard something interesting. “Being a young woman is harder than carrying a porkypine purse through a ballon shop.” It is so true, kinda like the idea of walking on egg shells. This quote was on some show on the Disney Channel. I love that the new shows they have for kida are actually targeting the issues in today’s society. When I was little, I don’t remember seeing shows about kids with eating disorders, drug issues, STDS, high school drop outs, young people with jobs, or seperated families. It’s just amazing how things change so fast, but its great to now be able to watch TV and relate on some level. now with the media, that is still a big issue. I means ure most of America has become obese, but look at the media…they are the ones who started the process, the advertise candy and processed foods. Another thing is that everything is so expensive, we try to save money by choosing not so healthy food choices and in the long run we spend the money one buy new clothes to fit the food that stuck to our hips and tummies. Or we become so unhealthy and unaware of our bodies needs that eventually we suffer health issues related to being overweight causing us to spend more money on medical issues and the price of insurace sky rockets. The media has become greedy, and its stealing away the happiness of America for what? More money? We need to stand up to the media… we are so self-absorbed as americans that we forget those who are in greater need.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in eating healthy or exercising or just wanting to be pretty the way society says pretty is(what a waste of time)… I could be spending time with God. Sometimes I spend money on things I really don’t need, that money coould go to charity, sometimes I work a lot to buy the things I don’t truely need….but that time, its God’s, not mine… I should use it for the better, to make someone smile, to help feed a foreign country, to give a stanger hope.

My heart is so set on God its hard to see this world come crashing down.

Any comments? Don’t be shy.

My First Blog! How fun!

Well lets see, where do I start? Today I got a lot done around the house and it feels so great. Now I am super excited because my parents are back in town and should be here in about 10 minutes. I love them so much, they amazing people. Anyways, I’ve had a cold all week, but I’m finally starting to fell better, because I got some good sleep last night. Okay so since this is my first blog, it’s really kinda just what I like to call rambling so I will go for now, but I am excited to start my public writtings. Usually I just write on paper or to a friend, but now people can choose to listen to me vent about both the good and the bad in life. You’ll notice I talk about God a lot, know this: it is all sincere, nothing fake. Lets lets be real and share stories.

Goodnight and God bless.