There is this woman whom I look to for great advice, she is my role model. This woman is beautiful beyond compare with flowing blonde hair. She knows what to say when you are feeling blue. She has a gentle touch when you are ill, talk about nurturing she is the definition of the very word. This woman is a lot like me, give her a coca-cola and she flys off her seat in laughter. Never have I ever met anyone as special to me as she is. This woman is warm and affectionate but you don’t ever want to be on her bad side, it can be quite scary. She is the one person who will bend over backwards for her loved ones and would sacrifice her whole life so that her children know what love is and so that they will grow up to be strong and independent. When she walks into a room she says hello with the sweetest voice, and she always smells of green apples. She deserves everything the world has good to offer. She puts up with the mood swings of many, while controlling her own anger. She is an amazing cook and a wonderful housewife. She cleans everyday and still has time to sit down with the family at night. She is always keeping tabs and I appreciate her concern. How she does it, I do not know. This woman is strong, kind, giving, and so overflowing with love for others. I greatly admire her and want to be just like, and I will strive to reach the point in which I call perfection…. That would be my mom and my best friend; she is my idea of perfect.

Advice for the Married Are you married? Looking to get married? Here are some things found in research that might help you in your marriage, especially when surviving the two-year newlywed terrors. It is said that the first two years of marriage are either the best or the worst years of the marriage. Hopefully though, that won’t be the case for any of you. If you survive the first two years, you are much more likely to have a long and healthy marriage. Also, if it’s a good first two years you may find yourself in a rut later on, but don’t worry there are ways to get through that too. You just walked in the front door of your home together, sad that the honeymoon is over. No more pina coladas, laying in the lounge chairs by the big blue body of water watching the sunset with your new husband or wife. What’s next, where do you go from here? Back to work, chores, and the hectic schedules you are so used to. It’s weird to take in all the new aspects of life, sharing a bed, a bathroom or maybe in some cases a tooth brush or razor. There is no longer such a thing as personal space in your relationship, you are one. You will drive each other nuts if you don’t make time for some individual activities. You will fall into the everyday boring routine of the married life. There are many common mistakes newlyweds make; this is because they are still learning the ins and outs of the married life. Some of these mistakes include but are not limited to: failing to think beyond the wedding, trying to change your spouse, getting off to the wrong foot with your in-laws, letting your emotions win in an argument, avoiding important discussions, fighting over silly stuff, rushing into having children, going into debt, having unrealistic expectations about marriage, letting resentment build, being insensitive to you spouse’s feelings, making decisions without consulting your spouse, being intolerant of your spouse’s quirks or differences, not giving each other enough space, taking your partner for granted, abandoning your sex life.(Di Meglio) These are a lot of reasons as to what newlyweds do wrong as well as any married couple, so I will cover a few of the key mistakes. Let’s start with failing to look beyond the wedding. Oh what a beautiful day that way, but let’s face it, it’s over and marriage has begun. It wasn’t about the wedding anyways, was it? If you answered yes, then maybe you need to reevaluate your decision to be married, you already said I do. Many couples dream about the dress and the party, but are they really looking into planning their future with their loved one? Don’t get me wrong the party is meant to be fun and a celebration of your new life together, it was just one day, another calendar day with some sentimental meaning behind it. Don’t forget about the “big picture” someday you will want to buy a house, and start a family, don’t forget about the important parts. Next many men and women go into a relationship thinking they can change their spouse. Well I’m sorry to burst your bubble but that does not usually work out. I would like to assume that you married your spouse because you love them for who they are and not who you want them to be. If that’s the case then there is no good reason for wanting to change them. As adults we are already formed into who we are and who we will be, for the most part. Trying to change your spouse will hurt their feelings and leave them feeling as though you never really loved them for who they are, much less it can ruin you marriage or cause resentment. If you plan on changing someone and you really want to try, do it before you get married so that the heartache is much less painful. You must learn to embrace who your spouse is; they want and need your support. (Robin McGraw) We have all heard the infamous quote “don’t sweat the small stuff”, well it’s time to put it to use. “Every married person has argued with his or her spouse over something that seems insane to outsiders – from the notorious cap left off the toothpaste to underwear left on the doorknob. Save your arguments for more important subjects. Let these pet peeves remain as simple pet peeves. Honestly, if the worst thing your spouse does is leave his dirty socks on the floor, you should consider yourself lucky.( Di Meglio)” Now when it comes to the “big stuff” we all hate to sit down and talk about it, because it’s not easy. Some examples of big stuff are: what to do if you can’t have children, or how to prepare for the unthinkable such as death or perhaps as simple as how to save money for buying a new house. Being married you can’t run from these very difficult talks, be a grown-up and talk it out as a couple. Be rational when it comes to talking about arguments; don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Talk calm, seek counseling if needed, but don’t ever let it get to screaming and yelling. Be married to each other. This is so important, when you get married; take time to enjoy being married to one another. Learn something new about each other; spend time doing the things you have always wanted to do. Go on vacation or the set of your favorite television show. Explore the land of the married; hang out with other newlywed couples like yourselves. Many couples feel pressured to rush into baby making and starting a family. Once you have children you will never have this alone time again. Practice making babies, without having them. When you have little ones running around, it’ll be harder to enjoy each others company. Commitment is the most important aspect of marriage, its something you have to work on everyday says Robin McGraw, wife to the infamous Dr. Phil. Don’t ever think that divorce is an option and stay positive through the good and the bad. Unrealistic expectations often hinder a new marriage so be reasonable. “Courtship and marriage are not always the same. Falling in love is not the same thing as being in love. There’s an adjustment when you merge two lives together. It’s give and take. Embrace the change and know that it takes work. You are both responsible for contributing to the success of the marriage. (Dr. Phil)” Sometimes these changes can be overwhelming and hard for most, but just ride it out and take time to get use to it. Most changes in life take time to adjust to. When you start to have an issue maybe you should stop and ask yourself, “how much fun are you to live with?” Dr. Phil has also stated that you can either contribute to your relationship, or you contaminate it. Start your relationship with a spirit of acceptance, not criticism. If all you ever do is nit-pick, nag and criticize, you’ll create a parent/child relationship, rather than one of love, laughter and mutual respect. People generate the results they think they deserve. If all you ever put out is negativity and pessimism, that’s all you’ll get in return. Be honest with yourself. Also, do something new! You may be married now, but that is not any reason to throw away all your adventures, time to start new ones. Make it a daily task to try something new, I’m not talking sexually. Make a new exciting dinner, spice it up a bit. Try a new fitness class at your local gym, or take up a new hobby as a couple. If everyday is exactly the same, you will end up unhappy. Now if you’re bored in the bedroom, doing the same old thing try to mix it up a little. It doesn’t take bringing a stranger into your bed, but go out and buy something sexy. Surprise your spouse, get creative and read up on how you and your partner can recreate the passion you once knew. You may have made plans for your future before you took the leap and got hitched but now that you are one, it is time to reevaluate those plans and make new ones. Know that things are always changing and use New Years to make marriage resolutions. In many marriages, time and date nights can totally fall out of the picture, as well as your “me time.” Before you were married you may have experienced those long phones calls that have 20 minutes of good-byes and many “no you hang up first” comments. Today with a ring on your finger, you look back and wish that things could be that fun and innocent. Well guess what, they can. Ladies, pack your husband a lunch to take a work and write a sweet little I love you note. With food in your man’s stomach and the thought of your love, he will want nothing more than to be home, spending time with you. Men, send her flowers at work just because, or drive by her work and leave her a little note on her car. Be creative and support your wife emotionally and she will support you and reward you in ways you cannot imagine. “Don’t put yourselves on hold; wither personally or as a couple. Take care of yourself both emotionally and physically. Make time to take a walk, read a book, relax in a hot tub, laugh, listen to music you enjoy, and get a good night sleep.” (Stritof) Learn to say no to some chores and events that prevent you from having enough time to connect with your spouse. Connecting with one another is very important. Make sure you have the time to at least have one date night each month. Keep the fun alive, don’t go to the movies, you can’t talk there. Try to use you free time to catch up on your lives outside of your marriage i.e. work, hobbies, parents, siblings and your kids. Don’t focus on the stress of these things but the joys. In the end, marriage is a big commitment. You must know what you’re getting yourself into before you jump head first in to a rock filled riverbed. The first two years may kill you but there are many ways to try and prevent marital suicide. “Ask yourselves if you are living the way you want to live. If not, do some brainstorming about strategies to get yourselves to where you want to be – emotionally, financially, physically, etc. Make specific plans for achieving a goal the two of you have set.(Stritof)” Enjoy being married, it’s a great gift. Works Cited Di Meglio, Francesca. “20 Mistakes Most Newlyweds Make.” About.com. 04/22/2009. About. 4 May 2009 McGraw, Phillip. “Steps for Succeeding As Newlyweds.” Dr. Phil.com. 04/29/2009. Dr. Phil. 4 May 2009 McGraw, Robin. “Robin’s Words of Wisdom For Newlyweds.” Dr. Phil.com. 04/20/2009. Dr. Phil. 3 May 2009 Striof, Sheri & Bob. “Get Your Maarriage Out of a Rut.” About.com. 04/22/2009. About.com. 4 May 2009 Wymore, Denise. Personal Interview. 1 May 2009

Holiness

Holiness can be when something is missing; either a piece of cloth from your favorite t-shirt or a void in your heart.  Some may even say holiness is the purity in the self-practice of religion however,  I would personally like to talk about the more literal definition of holiness.  Ever rip your favorite jeans and put a huge hole in them?  I know I have.  There was this one time I sat on a wire park bench and the corner of my jeans pocket snagged on a loose wire creating a little hole when I stood up; it wasn’t too noticeable.  Later on that same day, I dropped a pencil and when I bent over to pick it up, my butt was just big enough to stretch the hole so that my index finger could fit through it.  I didn’t pay much attention to this because they were my favorite comfy fit jeans and I’d wear them even with holes.

The next week I went out on a date, dinner and a movie, and of course I was wearing my favorite jeans so that I’d be comfortable with this someone new.  When we first got to the restaurant, I realized that the hole had gotten a little bigger since the last time I looked in the mirror.  Still my hinny was not exposed therefore, I couldn’t care less.  All throughout the night I kept my fingers crossed that my jeans would not undergo any further damages.  At the end of the night, my date walked me to the door of my apartment, where there was that awkward “do we kiss or not” question in the air.  Well I gave him a hug and said good night, but just as I turned to walk through the now open door, he grabbed my elbow turning me to face him.  He went for the kill and as he did so, the door slammed shut behind me with a fierce bang and my jeans pocket caught in the door jam.  At this point, I knew my whole back-side was exposed, gosh I wish I had woren some of my uh-hem unmentionables.  I felt a cool breeze while at the same time a hot rush of redness to my embarrassed cheeks (on my face that is).  Funny thing is he had holes in his jeans and told me he had the same thing happen to him once.  It’s nice to know we all experience holes in something at one point in our lives.  Holiness can be funny or it can be embarrassing, but just try to make the best out of what you got, and wear those favorite jeans until you can no longer define them as holy, but as destroyed instead.

Who do you think would win in a fight?  A taco or a grilled cheese?

Grilled Cheese…

unless its prision rules…

then I’d have to say….

TACO!

haha I just watched Hot Rod, its a funny movie.

So tonight I heard something interesting. “Being a young woman is harder than carrying a porcupine purse through a balloon shop.” It is so true, kinda like the idea of walking on egg shells. This quote was on some show on the Disney Channel. I love that the new shows they have for kids are actually targeting the issues in today’s society. When I was little, I don’t remember seeing shows about kids with eating disorders, drug issues, STDs, high school drop outs, young people with jobs, or separated families. It’s just amazing how things change so fast, but its great to now be able to watch TV and relate on some level. The media has become greedy, and its stealing away the happiness of America for what? More money? We need to stand up to the media… we are so self-absorbed as Americans that we forget those who are in greater need.